You can find anything on Amazon, but is it any good? You can buy toys, jewelry, magazines, books, you can buy purple socks or butterfly bracelets. You can buy food and hair products. You can buy Chinese medicines. And all this without leaving your house.
I am a little tired of the stuff you get from Amazon that is junk so I’ve temporarily suspended buying from them for the most part. I am going back to shopping in person so I can hold things and make sure I actually like them before I buy them. Except shoes. I buy shoes online still but that’s only once a year.
However, I may go back to shopping at Amazon if I decide to buy a land tank.
You can buy a land tank, for $20,000 which can go about 40 miles/hour.
Here is what reviewers have to say about the land tank.
“I am an acquisitions officer for an artillery unit in the Russian Army. Since mafia hooligans stole all of our equipment to sell to Kyrgyzstani rebels, we have been looking for a low-cost alternative to the T-80 Main Battle Tank. After successful trials at a facility in Moscow, this so-called “Badonkadonk” was approved for use in the Chechen theatre. Initial reports were favorable, but then somebody noticed that the tank lacked a cannon, treads, and armor, and possessed the engine of an electric bicycle. It did, however, have an excellent audio system, but this failed to compensate for its disappointing 100% mortality rate. Recommended only for use against Lithuanians.”
“I’ll admit it. Shopping for a personal tank can be a bit daunting. Many times in the past I’ve purchased overpriced, so-called “battle tanks”, then driven them into battle only to be wrecked in ten minutes by the first blow off of some insurgents home-made morter.
But not this baby, no way.
This tank R-O-C-K-S! Literally- the 400-watt sound-system keeps me rockin like a crazy man as I’m dishing out justice commando style. Wow. I just can’t say enough. And the kids love it, too- imagine the look of terror in the eyes of the enemy as I’m dropping off my kid’s team to their soccer game. Shock and awe, my friends, SHOCK AND AWE!
I had NAO install the optional GPS-guided white phosphorus missile system, and talk about *SWEET*! Burn baby burn!!!
Oh, it also has plenty of room for groceries, and if you need to like move a loveseat or something it’ll fit if you use a little bungee cord.
The only real negative with this tank is that it shows up on radar a little more than I like (although there is a polyresin graphite stealth model available). Also, the included spare isn’t full size.
I bought one of these Donks ’cause I thought the cops wouldn’t hassle me in it. Since it ain’t road legal I figured it wouldn’t matter that I don’t got a driver’s license anymore (It’s that kinda “outa the box” thinkin that’s got me where I am in life). I figured when the cops said “Billy, you know you ain’t supposed to be drivin a car anymore” I could say “I aint drivin a car, I’m drivin a Donk” and then crank up “Freebird” on my 400 Watt stereo as I lay down a thick patch of rubber with the 6hp fire-breathin power plant and maybe let out a rebel yell as I go up on 2 wheels and squeeze between the 2 squad cars they had set up as a road block. Then when they pulled out their guns and tried to stop me the bullets would just rikoshay off my trusty Donk as I glance matter-of-factly into the rear view mirror and flick the ash off my Marlboro in symbolic contempt of the aggressors what I had just thwarted.
I was skeptical at first…can you really buy a tank and be allowed to drive it around town. Turns out that “legally” you can’t. But it does have some other great benefits:
1. Every single person I have had an issue with is now afraid of me. It’s not that quiet respect kind of thing either, these people are petrified of me. My neighbors used to get mad when the dog “Wally” would use their yard as a bathroom — not any more. In fact, they don’t get mad when I do it either.
2. The gas mileage isn’t that great, but I haven’t stopped for a traffic light/stop sign for the six months I’ve owned the JL421. Actually, I haven’t even bothered to slow down….people just seem to get out of the way. The police escorts have been a welcomed suprise, but they would be more efficient in front of me instead of following behind.
3. The flamethrower attachment is a must have (I found one at a garage sale for a great price). My lawn will never have to be mowed again. The machine guns only fire one thousand rounds per minute, but short of the few times I’ve needed them it hasn’t been much of an issue.
4. This thing is super roomy too. I can now take at least six of my drunken idiot friends with me on our Wednesday night road rage episodes. My old tank only fit the four of us. If you can’t share those times with your friends, why even bother going out to shoot stuff — ya know?!?!
Just a couple of negatives:
1. Now that my wife has kicked me out of the house and I’m living in my tank, I have really noticed the need for more ventilation. I haven’t showered in six months and it is pretty ripe smelling in there. I’m looking into adding some windows.
It’s great for:
1. Weekend get-aways
2. Destroying your enemies
3. Inspiring fear
4. Protection from SUVs …