Last night at 11 pm I went for a late night walk. I heard turkeys and opossums. I was wondering about skunks. In Nebraska, you can buy a skunk of your own for $400. Even an albino skunk which would be excellent.
When the kids were growing up, we spent lots of time scouring the Los Angeles Adoption sites and finding pets we could adopt and then figure out how to sneak them into the house hoping Mark wouldn’t notice them at first and then would miraculously become attached to them.
We brought in geese, ducks, rabbits and dwarf rabbits. There was a turken who got killed by a dog, a rat that was eaten by a snake, another rabbit who attempted to inseminate a chicken, unsuccessfully I might add, that rabbit took Easter far too seriously, two gay ring necked doves who killed any females but spent hours bowing and cooing to each other, we named them Bruce and Bruce. There was an iguana who escaped and roamed the yard for months and was captured far up a palm tree on Easter. There was a rabbit who was dug up by our dog Chucho on Easter and the kids claimed to see him alive running about the field. You can see how Easter was important at our house.
We had these great egg hunts and when the kids were teenagers, they kept painting eggs for smaller kids while drinking Mikes and still wanted a basket. ‘Isn’t it fair to say that if you’re old enough to drink alcohol while painting eggs that you’re too old to need a basket?” The kids disagreed.
We’re trying to downsize the pets now. We now have, last time I counted, at our house:
We are leaving for San Francisco on Wednesday. We will need a house sitter. We always need a house sitter. Tonight when I walk through the dark, I will look for snakes.