Mark and Chris Tarry read last night at Skylight Books and it was a great reading. We went to the Dresden afterward for a drink with Ron and Bianca, Chris, Nicelle, Kim Dower and her husband Thom. I am very grateful for all the Red Hen writers who have been supportive of Mark and I during this time.
One of our writers had a hiking accident in the Santa Monica Mountains and broke his leg in thirteen places. He is in a huge cast which doesn’t allow him to move much at all. His wife is taking care of him, but in these situations, both parties end up with multiple problems.
First questions are the questions of the body:
Can I go to the bathroom by myself?
Can I bathe by myself?
What am I allowed to eat? This is more relevant for Mark than our writer with the injured leg.
If I’m not able to move around much, should I make a point of eating less so I don’t end up as a house?
Questions of the mind:
What am I going to do at home to keep myself entangled in ideas?
Should I read, research, write, think, or try to do all of these at the same time?
As an injured person, who am I? I am being taken care of now, not taking care of other people.
Questions of the caretaker?
Who are you now that you are taking care of someone?
Should you feel guilty if you leave the person and go get your nails done, get a drink with a friend?
Should you do everything you can to make the person you are caring for happy even if it in interferes with your happiness?
These are some of the many questions that you end up with.
You do your best as a caretaker. You have to take care of yourself as well as the other person. It isn’t easy being a caretaker even for someone as nice as my husband.
Caretaking is a dicey business. My husband will be better in approximately four weeks. I’m glad about that. We’ll be ready to tango.