Let the kids fly, let them make their own life

There are way too many kids still living with their parents in this country or maybe way too few. Some people think that living with your parents is a good thing. But I’m not sure.

One of the professors at the university tells me that two of his adult children are living at home. They have both graduated from expensive universities and have top notch educations. The family lives in a two bedroom condo, but the kids still live with their parents. For the mom it’s great. She has someone to fuss over, but for the kids, it may not be the best possible thing.

That’s the question with adult children, what do you encourage them to do? Or maybe we adults should all get out of the way. It is my opinion that parents often suggest that kids do whatever is most beneficial to themselves. It’s not all about you, the parent, the question should be, what’s best for the kids and then get out of the way and let them go for it.

Fly, I tell my kids, fly. The sky’s the limit.

Published in: on March 4, 2015 at 10:08 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Reblogged this on coffeedropsandmuffintops and commented:
    Didn’t know it was quite ”normal”. Thought ALL kids 18 and above move away from home.
    Only applicable in the US though.

  2. One of mine took off without any trouble, the other–not so much. Here’s what surprised me: the antsy, voluble, extroverted, novelty-seeking offspring is the one who could not seem to get a purchase on the world. They’re only 17 months apart and raised about the same; it’s a matter of temperament and interest, and which marketable strengths the world is seeking at any given decade.

    I take issue with the statement, “For the mom it’s great. She has someone to fuss over…” I have plenty to fuss over besides young adult children. My writing, my garden, my job, my studies, my elderly parents.
    In our house, it is the father who pines to have them around. And yes, that hasn’t been the best possible thing for our eldest.

    Birds sometimes push the late fledgling out of the nest. Usually it manages to fly. (Granted, we aren’t birds. The analogy fails on several counts.)

  3. Most parents I know who have adult children living with them in scenarios where adult children at home is not part of the perceived cultural norm, are doing so primarily and only because the young adults have been unable to make sufficient cash to make the leap away.

    This is mostly an economic issue and I think the parents who are kind enough to make life livable for young adults who would otherwise face homelessness are pretty much awesome.

    The economy? Yeah, it could be way better…

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