At residency, it’s hard to think because my mind is swarming. But here’s to the new year and resolutions. Of which I have a few.
Most people resolve to quit smoking, drinking and eating too much but within a few days, weeks or sometimes hours they are back at it as if the new year had never begun. That’s because the new year opens a door, a possibility, but you have to actually go through it and going through it means changing yourself and it is indeed much more difficult to change yourself than we like to admit. It’s damned difficult. What’s much easier is to think about how other people would change.
I could come up with great new year’s resolutions for members of my family and for friends but for myself, I tried to narrow it down to changes I am actually willing to make. Slow down, breathe, take it all in, Kate, I say to myself. The world is all still there. When someone dear to me is getting older, I try to pay attention, I try to spend a lot of time with them, but really, there isn’t much in life that requires risking your life by driving too fast on the freeway. And I’m trying to leave for things in enough time that I don’t need to drive at breakneck speeds. Usually when I’m driving like a maniac, it’s because I didn’t have enough time to make the drive in the first place.
When you get down on one knee and ask someone to marry you, when you hold your baby for the first time, when you see your kids for the first time in a long time, when you kiss, why you lean into music at the symphony or in your own kitchen, all of these times are when we naturally slow down. When we don’t try to do something else at the same time. We need more of that, more time when all we are doing is breathing in the snowy air here in Nebraska, watching the Pacific Ocean come in, or the Atlantic. I love the grass dunes at Pismo and the birds nesting in my back yard and the cats too fat and lazy to chase birds. I love watching the squirrels take the cat food while they are eating it.
All the best parts of life are worth being in the now with. Margaritas tonight. Nebraska City’s version of Mexican food. A margarita is all light, sugar and tequila. These are a few of my favorite things. But mostly it’s being out with my friends. We live where the wild things are.