Reading at Fergie’s Pub at 7 pm in Philly tomorrow night!

Here is a hint to future employees:

Do not quote your parents.  Just don’t.  Don’t mention that my dad said this and my mom said that. Do not quote them.  Do not say to your employer, “My dad said to ask for a raise.”  Once you mention that your dad in the context of your potential raise, you are screwed.  I mean, it’s like raising your hand and saying, “Hey boss! I’m a child.  Yeah, I can’t really even think for myself without my parents.”

The problem with this generation of parents is that they are way too involved in their kids’ lives.  Let them grow up.  Let them not grow up.  Just let go.

If I were the boss of my kids’ lives, here’s what I’d tell them.

Daughter: Enjoy your life. Finish your masters this year. Get that tech job that you want; I know you can do it. If you decide you want a house, buy one in Berkeley, it’s nice there.  Have a couple kids.  You and Molly will make amazing parents.  Enjoy your life.

Son:  Enjoy your life.  Why am I even saying that? That’s all you’ve ever done. Keep enjoying your life. Travel a couple more years. Start a blog. Take pictures. Post stories and pictures on your blog so you start creating a big story and working on story telling. Keep playing music.  After you’ve travelled a bit more, come home and become a musician or an actor or a set builder or a writer. Do all of the above.  Find one of these creative things you can do that pays you enough so that if you wanted to do something crazy like maybe to take your girlfriend out to lunch or to buy your mother an ice cream cone, you could do it.  Anything you want to make happen, you’d say, I got this.

But my kids aren’t going to take that advice.  They’ve got their own plans.  I got to screw up my life and some of my best years were when I was screwing up, so they get to screw up too.  Doing it all right isn’t any fun.  You have to make some mistakes.  Some people have to make a lot of mistakes.

But don’t have your parents cover for you.  Your parents are the people who make you Thanksgiving dinner whether you deserve it or not.  They have your favorite vegan, vegetarian or gluten free food, your favorite pies ready for you when you come home.  If you call and wail to them about what a jerk your boss/girlfriend/spouse is, they’ll listen and that’s great.  It’s an amazing thing to have someone who has your back.  My husband has my back and my kids Tobi and Stephen always have my back even when I’m wrong.

Thanksgiving is coming in two months.  I’m getting ready to hear their stories, make all the special food they like, but I am not calling their boss or solving their problems.  That’s not my job.

Keep this in mind, you need your parents for love, and maybe for advice, but for living your life?  You got this.

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Published in: on September 23, 2014 at 10:10 am  Leave a Comment  

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