What do you when you want someone to ask you to marry you and they don’t ask you?

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All over America, all over the world there are people who wish someone would ask them to marry them. Sometimes it’s like an epidemic, it’s like everyone you know wants someone to ask and getting nothing. The man boys just wait. Actually they’re not waiting for anything. They’re just watching the world go by and doing other things. Sometimes it’s because they are too busy, but often it’s because they’re too passive to know how to really act on the world.

I’m going out on a limb here and say that there are probably more women waiting for an ask then men and that’s because men are supposed to do the asking. I don’t like the idea of waiting around for an ask. It would get tiring.

Ideally if someone wants you to marry you, they just figure it out and ask you. But if they don’t, what do you do?

Options include leaving them, waiting indefinitely, or asking them yourself. Frankly, there aren’t any good options. If you want to get married, and if you love the person and want to be with them, leaving is no good, waiting is no fun and asking them yourself furthers the problem of them being a man child.

My own personal experience has nothing to do with this because I have never dated anyone seriously who didn’t eventually ask me to marry them. I must seem like good wife material. I can sort of cook, sort of sing, sort of be funny, and I am never boring so people think it would be fun to be married to me when in fact I always think, You have no idea what you are getting into here. I might be more trouble than I am worth.

So, from my observations of the world here you go. Ways to get a guy to ask you to marry you.

1. Take him to weddings as many weddings as possible.
2. Walk by bridal shops and look longingly at the dresses.
3. Make him really nice food and let him know that the food will get better when you get married.
4. Take him to little honeymoon cabins and kind of skip around. The kind of cabins with baths for two. Bring champagne on these adventures.
5. Be amazing while on the little cabin vacations. And you know what I mean.
6. Play romantic music.
7. Bring home roses.
8. Hang out with other couples and ask to hear about their proposals, weddings, honeymoons.
9. After a particularly romantic time, leave for a week and be out of touch so he’ll miss you terribly.
10. Be super nice to his parents. This could be really rough, but do your best.

If all this doesn’t work, then just leave and find someone who does want to marry you. Some guys just want to play. If, however, you’re dating George Clooney, just enjoy it while it lasts and then give him my address and phone number.

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. As always…edgy, honest…fun.

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