Back to Los Angeles tomorrow

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Need to finish packing and getting the house ready for the arrival of the family for Christmas. I am pretty sure that we’ve gotten everything we need/want for Christmas. We are even planning out the dinner for Christmas Eve and breakfast Christmas morning as well as Christmas dinner. Plus, people are coming by all day to visit so we need food and drinks.

During this time of year, there is a lot of tension with families. The ideal situation in families is shown to you on television. If you want to know if your family is ideal, here’s a clue. Watch the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life. You’re supposed to be sitting around with dad, mom, all the kids and the family dog. You’ll be watching The Wizard of Oz. Your whole family is happy. Everyone is happy in their relationship/marriage. The grand kids are all happy if there are any and the kids are married to their significant others. Everyone is happy and everything is beautiful.

But in real life, it doesn’t often work out like that. First of all, some of your kids might be travelling, some might be with someone else and visiting their family. Once your kids grow up, the chance that they will be with you every holiday is pretty slim. Once you get divorced, you can’t count on having your kids with you at all holidays. I had my kids with me at all the holidays when they were growing up and I had their dad over for the holidays as well. But now, my son is in Australia. This is the third Christmas that he isn’t with me, once he was in Nepal working at an orphanage, last year he was in New Zealand and this year, Sydney, Australia. I’m cool though, I know he’s having a good time. But I miss him. But those of us who are together for Christmas are having a good time. And maybe we will even Skype with Steve.

But what about if some of your family doesn’t like you? Your brother or sister, your daughter or son. Does that make you a bad person if a family member does not like you?

Well, are you a good person? Have you treated your family members with integrity and compassion? Have you ever walked away from a member of your family? Once you decide to become a parent there is no time when walking away is a good idea. If you haven’t treated your family members well, the holidays might be as good a time as any to apologize.

But if you have treated your family members well, and there’s still going to be some tension, then you got to just breathe. You have to just be yourself. Okay, you’re saying to yourself, what if my mother-in-law or sister-in-law or other in law says something super mean to me? Then what? Time to fight back? On Christmas Day? Tell ‘em to shut their face?

What would Gandhi do?
• “Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through love. This is an unalterable law.”
• “Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.”

But that is easier said than done. It is much easier to be angry, to fight back than to forgive. Maybe the holidays give us a good time to let go. But it’s a lot easier if you are surrounded by people who love you. Good luck and happy holidays.

Published in: on December 22, 2013 at 10:24 pm  Leave a Comment  

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