How men and women see the world

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This morning a guy was flirting with me at the gym. Not shamelessly but quite clearly. He looked maybe 23? 24?

If I were a guy, with a 23 year old girl breathing down my shorts, I would have thought, “You want some of this babe? I bet you do. Why not? I got it going on.” At least that’s what I like to imagine.

Here’s what I thought:
1. Are you kidding? It’s 5:30 in the morning, how can I possibly look good in my Victoria Secret workout clothes and hair in a ponytail?
2. Either my son or my daughter/son could kick your ass, in fact, each of them is bigger than you.
3. What the hell are you thinking?
4. This gym clearly doesn’t have enough women.
5. And… just for a fleeting moment I thought, Stacy’s mom has got it going on.

Men and women see the world differently. Younger men remind me of my son and stepsons. Younger women remind men of being young and wanted and virile. I don’t feel less sexy as I get older, I know I rock it, it’s just that I can’t quite imagine rocking it with someone in their twenties even in my fantasy life. Zac Effron looks like a child to me. Pierce Brosnan, Clive Owen and Denzel Washington look like men. I like men. Adult men.

On the other hand, when I think of close friendships, talking about everything, deep conversations, soul baring moments, I think of women or my husband. I think most women have their close friendships with other women.

Considering that we all live on the same planet, it’s odd that there aren’t more close friendships between the genders. When I have a day to just hang, and that doesn’t happen often enough, I want to see Nicelle, Lisa, Karen, Tracy, Rachel or Kim, or get Darlene on the phone or go for a walk with Sarah. I don’t want to feel like I’m working or being measured or being asked to do something or measuring myself, or feeling small or being talked at, down to, around, along, among, beside, between. Just with.

They say that girls who grew up with close relationships with their fathers will trust men more and be more likely to have close male friends. I had always hoped for that with my daughter, and as a lesbian, she seems to have some close guy friends. Gay friends and even a few heteros, so maybe that worked out. But she’s got a lot of lesbian friends.

The problems with the male/female relationships are too numerous to mention, but let’s take a whack at a few of them.
1. If you’re friends with a guy who just doesn’t find you attractive that’s kind of sad.
2. If you’re friends with a guy who wants in your shorts, that’s going to be hard, no pun intended.
3. If you’re friends with a guy who just wants to be listened to, that gets old.
4. If you’re friends with a guy who always wants something from you, that’s going to get old too.
5. If you’re friends with a guy who treats you equally, count your lucky stars. Especially if you do feel wanted but you don’t feel either prized or hounded, just like they’re lucky to be hanging with you.

Published in: on November 13, 2013 at 9:52 pm  Leave a Comment  

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