Why not put yourself into the position where nobody expects anything from you?

008 Me and Karen, friends for life

Wouldn’t’ it be more comfortable if no one felt they could call on you for help? Let’s say you never loan money to anyone. You don’t give to any annual funds. You don’t have any children to take care of. You aren’t married. You go out to eat a lot and you keep your work load to a minimum. You pay all your bills on time and you save as much money as you can. You have enough money for lobster and good wine as often as you want it. You have no one who might call you and say, Please pick me up, my car broke down.” Nobody who might ask you to borrow a hundred dollars. Nobody who might need you to pay for their cell phone. No kids to pay for college. Nobody who might think that your retirement account is for the both of you. Nobody who is hoping you’ll buy them a new dress or a pet dog. Would your life in fact be easier? Would you sleep better at night? Would it be more comfortable? Yes! The answer is a solid yes.

If you want your life to be as easy and comfortable as possible, that’s your best course of action. Only have yourself to take care of. Don’t get seriously involved with anyone. Don’t declare mad love for anyone. DO NOT under any circumstances have children. The problem with children is that they will absolutely expect to be loved, cared for, they’ll probably expect clothing and shoes. College educations. They’ll be calling you for advice for the rest of your life if you do it right.

So, if it’s so much more comfortable to not take care of anyone, why do some of us choose to take care of people anyway? Why do we choose to have children? To work at a non profit or to give to non profit? Why do we choose to have friends who we take care of?

Many of us love challenges. The challenge of being a stakeholder in something. In a friend’s life, your kids’ lives, a non profit organization, being a stakeholder in something that matters beyond yourself is challenging, but it’s worth it. Actually caring about something or someone you can’t turn your back on changes you.

I believe in being part of the world of gift giving, not of hoarding. Of being a stakeholder in the lives of my children, my husband, my friends’ lives, the press, the other non profits that I’m part of. I believe in the change that happens in you when you commit to something greater than yourself.

In the end, saying you kept it all for yourself means your are sitting in woods with your pile of snowballs, but you have no one to play with. Why not throw some balls? Why not be part of the game?

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