What does beauty look like in America

hawaii 161 me in Hawaii

Actually, it’s more a question of what beauty is not in America. So if you want to be beautiful, here are some things you might want to cross off the list.

1. Grey hair. My friend Jackie is very beautiful and she has spiky grey hair, but I’m telling you, Jackie is the exception. My friend Peggy is another exception, but there aren’t many exceptions and I wouldn’t count on you being one of them. Dye your hair. Grey hair for most people is going to age you by forty fifty years. Also you can’t be dyeing your hair yourself. You need to go and have this done professionally, otherwise you will look really trashy and tired.
2. Being overweight. Again, some people can make this work. I know some beautiful people with big swinging hips, but again, you need a lot of pizzazz to pull off beauty if you’re packing more than thirty extra pounds. This is completely wrong and unfair. In other cultures, you can carry some extra weight, you can walk tight in your jeans, you can shake your booty, shake your hips, but in Los Angeles in 2013, you are supposed to be rail bikini thin at all times.
3. Clothing—you need to wear sexy clothes all the time.
4. You need to have cool shoes and cool boots. That’s what makes you look like you’re walking right in the world.
5. Teeth—you have to keep your teeth sparkling white at all times. You cannot let your teeth get all gross, and you can’t let your teeth fall out. You need to keep your teeth looking like Tom Cruise or Julia Roberts
6. Take care of your skin.
7. Watch your waist.
8. Stand up straight.
9. Exercise at least five times a week, then exercise some more.
10. Look your best at all times.
Having written all this I have to say that it’s bullshit. We should all be able to just walk the walk and be beautiful. We are all beautiful; we shouldn’t need to worry about dyeing our hair, fixing our teeth, and being gussied up all the time, but that’s the way it rolls in LA. I try to convince myself it doesn’t matter, but it does. Here at least. In my next life, I’m going to move some place like maybe Hawaii. In Hawaii, I’m going to wear a swimsuit and a very short skirt all the time, and I’m going to look at myself in the mirror and I’m going to say to myself, You rock it, Kate Gale. I’ll say it even if it’s not true. Because if you say it enough, it is true. Truth is beauty. Beauty is truth.

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Published in: on October 22, 2013 at 8:27 pm  Leave a Comment  
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