In my life, I have too many Enneagram Ones

kkkl 300 Okay, here are the German blue sheep

Maybe I attract them; if I do, I am going to find a way to stop that business. I have a friend who is going through a divorce from a One and watching her is reminding me of my own experiences with Ones. They are dominating and controlling. David Koresh was a One. George Eversfield who started the cult where I grew up was a One.

Okay, in case you want to identify whether you have a One in your life, here we go, the good, the bad and the ugly.
The Good:

Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve thing. They are however; afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They have problems with resentment and impatience.

Ones often leave comfortable lives to do something extraordinary because they feel that something higher is calling them…

Ones are people of practical action—they wish to be useful in the best sense of the word. On some level of consciousness, they feel that they “have a mission” to fulfill in life, if only to try their best to reduce the disorder they see in their environment.

The Dark Side
Ones can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. They deal in absolutes: they alone know “The Truth.” Everyone else is wrong; they mete out very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions.
They become obsessive about imperfection and the wrong-doing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach.
They become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of “wrong-doers.” Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely. Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders.
The fact is that each of the personality types has a bright side and a dark side. It’s very interesting as a writer to figure out, for your characters, what personality type they are. It’s harder to figure out younger people, I find. I can easily figure out my husband and myself, but my kids aren’t as easy because they are still in flux. Who knows who they will become? But whoever they become, it will be amazing.
I think some people like to be around Ones because they are perfectionists. I find too much perfection a little exhausting. I like to be crazy sometimes; I like to be bad for at least moments of the time.
The ideal partner in terms of personality types is the one who will allow you and encourage you to be your own best self. Your own best self is independent, courageous, intelligent, compassionate and of course completely alive.
Not too many more trips this year, New Mexico, San Francisco, Chicago, Nebraska, that’s all. In January, we will have one trip to Seattle/Whidbey Island and Portland, and then back to Seattle for AWP where Red Hen will have an amazing event with Bob Hass, Gary Snyder, Eva Saulitis and Peggy Shumaker.

Poets and Writers piece on Red Hen!

Come to our anniversary party in Pasadena on November 10th!

Check out my newest Huffington Post piece! I think you’ll love it.

Don’t You Hate Men?

How to Find a Book in the Future.

Published in: on October 18, 2013 at 8:22 pm  Leave a Comment  
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