O, beware, my lord, of jealousy

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Iago:
O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey’d monster, which doth mock
The meat it feeds on. That cuckold lives in bliss,
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger:
But O, what damnèd minutes tells he o’er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!
Othello:
O misery!
Why can’t we just enjoy being around other people who are different than we are without envying them?

Envy is a very human emotion. We envy stuff we wish we had.

I have several girlfriends who are gorgeous thin and pretty. Nicelle, Stephanie, Jen, Susie, and Sarah are all in this category. They are stunning and since they’re all twenty years younger than me, I accept that I can’t compete in that arena.

We envy whatever we actually do care about.

I can comfortably say that I don’t envy people’s shoes, clothes, good looks, purses, houses, or bank accounts. None of those things seem to make people happier.

I don’t envy other people’s kids or husbands because my kids are fine and my husband’s a keeper. Well, let me think about it, do I envy Pierce Brosnan’s wife? Just picturing myself as the wife of the former James Bond… No, I think that I’ll keep my own husband, but that was nice thinking about it for a moment.

Envy: what do we envy? We envy what we wish we actually had.

Some people wish to be thin, others wish to be beautiful. Some wish to be rich. Some wish for their neighbor’s Camry. One wishes for what one can not have. One wishes for whatever we think would make us happy.

I wish for the following:
1. I wouldn’t mind being taller.
2. I’d like better teaching gigs.
3. I wish I could improve my garden which is really haphazard.
4. I’m starting to want a better car.
5. I wish we had a pool.
Most of this is stuff I can work toward if I really want to.
The envy that eats people up and destroys them is for things you cannot have like a child. If you can’t have a child and you desperately want one, that’s rough. Or wanting to be with someone who you can’t be with because they don’t care about you or because they’re married or otherwise unavailable.

It’s best to avoid envy. It isn’t an emotion that takes you forward in life or creates any kind of positive emotion. Jealousy, envy, hatred, meanness—they just don’t lead to anything good.

Kindness, generosity, joy, love, all of those create happiness and all of those can be shared with others. Integrity and compassion—that’s what I try for. I don’t always succeed because sometimes I get scared and think I’m alone. But I’m not alone and I don’t envy those who are.

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Published in: on October 4, 2013 at 9:20 pm  Leave a Comment  
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