I wish you would wear more makeup, I really wish you would dress up.

Penguins

One thing you pretty much never hear from your boyfriend or husband is this: I really wish you would dye your hair more often. Why don’t you wear more makeup, wear more lipstick? I really wish you would wear more expensive clothing. Why don’t you go shopping and find something more pricey. That dress is just too cheap. At least this has never happened to me.
I have never had any expensive clothes or shoes, nor have I ever had anything designer, yet no one has ever suggested that I should do any of that either. Women claim that they dress up for men, that they shop for men, do their hair for men, get facials for men. I don’t believe it.
Men like certain clothes no doubt. Many men born before 1960 still like prim looking housewives who wear garter belts and stockings; that reminds them of that certain kind of dependent obedient women who was popular before Second Wave feminism swept through and we stopped changing our names and started thinking we were equal to men and should be part of the conversation not just the ones listening.
And of course, a later group of men liked the sporty athletic types in Victoria Secret boxers and tank tops. That’s style. Some women like worker men, some like men who wear suits, some like sporty men, some like clowns.

But the men I’ve known, once they fall in love with a woman rarely try to get her to spend more on her hair, clothing or makeup. They’re willing to leave us alone, but we are not willing to leave them alone. We keep trying to fix them. We try to get to exercise more, dress up, shave, quit lying around the house in boxers and old sweatshirts. Do not wear old sports shirts or band shirts all the time. Do not wear white socks and sandals. That’s not working at all. As Crazy Stupid Love points out, men should not be wearing New Balance shoes in public. And those shoes with the toes? Please. Do not leave the house with those shoes. Crocs are out of the question. In fact, if anyone comes over, change out of the Crocs or the Vibram Five Fingers.
That’s because we women are always trying to change men. The question is why aren’t men trying to change us? Is it that we don’t need changing? Or is it that they accept us? I’m sure there are lots of reasons. Here are a few:

1. They might just like us the way we are.
2. They might be insecure and feel that if we are too good looking, they would lose us. I’m really suspicious of this one. Why are men so ready for their wives to go grey? Why don’t they encourage us to be our best, to be shockingly beautiful.
3. They might not like the idea of our spending too much money on ourselves.
I think the best we can do is be out authentic selves, try to like who we are, be our best. We don’t have to be perfect, just rock it.

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Published in: on September 28, 2013 at 7:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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