Geography of Cool

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Here is cool

Manhattan is a cool place to live. I assume there might be parts of Manhattan that are un-cool, but basically the island of Manhattan is cool.

When I’m in Manhattan and I’m invited to visit friends in Brooklyn, I’m amazed at how easy it really is. At first I got lost, even with my friend Elizabeth Gold helping me every minute, but seriously going to Brooklyn isn’t that hard, but people from Brooklyn are supposed to go to Manhattan.

In Los Angeles, there are cool areas and un-cool areas. Santa Monica is cool. Venice is cool. The Valley is not cool. It’s not only over 100 degrees and has been for a long time.

When I moved to So Cal, I lived in Van Nuys. I loved it. Our house had a big back yard. I planted calla lilies and bougainvillea. My kids’ dad planted lots of trees. Many people in our area spoke Spanish. I was very excited about this because I was eager to work on my Spanish. Much of the Valley was an El Salvadoran community, and that made me very happy. I didn’t know for a couple of years that I wasn’t in Coolville. I liked the Spanish and the flowers; I liked the trees and I liked walking down to the liquor store and saying hello to the prostitutes. Once I went in with my daughter and there was a lovely working girl in something silvery. “Are you working?” my daughter asked perhaps because when I went to work I was in a suit.
“Yes I am,” the girl said looking at my little girl with her purple dress and flip flops.
“Well, when I grow up, I’m going to do what you do for working,” my daughter said. The girl laughed.
“Good luck mom!” she said and sashayed out of there with a handful of condoms and a fifth of Jack.

I still liked Van Nuys, but by that time, I knew it wasn’t cool.

Brentwood and Bel Air are for rich people but they aren’t “cool.” When you go to the Brentwood Country Mart, there are women in three hundred dollar yoga clothes. They probably wear those clothes all the time. They look beautiful all the time. They look incredible.

When you are in an area that is geographically un-cool, you don’t have those problems. In the Valley, there are lots of people out in public no less who are wearing clothes they bought at T.J. Maxx , Ross, or H and M. Many of these people will be wearing flip flops. Many of them will look untidy. Many of them will have wrong shoes, wrong hair, wrong clothes. Many of them will look like they could go to yoga and/or Pilates any time now.

You don’t need reservations in the Valley because there aren’t many good restaurants. If you live in the Valley, you need to go to visit your friends in Santa Monica, because they are not going to come to you. Where you live may seem hot as hell but it’s actually not cool.

Every city has their cool areas. In Portland, Oregon cool areas might be the Pearl—if you are rich or Mississippi or Alberta. But somebody thinks all those places isn’t cool.

Geography is everything. Live where you want to live. But remember if you have friends who live in cool areas, you have to get in your car and drive to them. If you even care about the geography of cool it means that you have enough time, money and energy to care.

If the San Fernando Valley is un-cool, the Santa Clarita Valley doesn’t have a scrap of cool and the Antelope Valley is so far below cool that it wouldn’t know cool if cool slapped it in the face.

Published in: on September 7, 2013 at 5:00 pm  Leave a Comment  

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