Monster Wars

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Have been spending the day with Nicelle and Gabi and signing invitations, and we are talking about monsters. Nicelle and I always have very important and interesting conversations, but we like to come back to the subject of monsters. We see writers, artists and musicians harboring demons. We’re not sure if the demons are what sustains creative work. We don’t think so.

Once you start in on creative work, there are a lot of things that can go wrong. First of all, you don’t really have time to create because you might need to make a living. And that making a living thing pulls at the creative work. You want to write, but you can’t think straight because you have to work. You have to work as a teacher or a dishwasher or a bull fighter. And that work gets in the way of all that creative work.

So, you start to get angry. You get angry and you start drinking or maybe you start smoking weed to calm yourself or you start a little pill popping. Or you start sleeping all the time. You’re drinking or doing some crazy stuff and now you really aren’t doing your creative work.

But somebody else is. There’s always somebody else who is focusing on their work. Somebody who is keeping their demons at bay just enough that they are hacking David out of marble. You aren’t carving David. You’re drinking, you’re traveling the world to distract yourself from the fact that you aren’t writing. You aren’t designing dresses or changing yourself or the world because you are now raising children and making your money and you’re involved in the war of the monsters. And that war has gotten big because you’re also fighting with the other artists/writers—the ones who got ahead of you. It’s like when you’re playing Mother May I. Somebody else gets a little bit ahead of you for no reason. They don’t deserve to be there. You know it. But they don’t know it. They think they deserve what they got. They don’t know that they just got lucky. They said, Mother, may I? and somebody said yes.

Okay, so now you have your work. And your family. And that’s a lot of work. On top of it though, you are now involved in the war of the monsters full time. All you think about is why am I working so hard? Why are other people getting lucky and not me? And that becomes your story. And you can’t get out from under that story. The story weighs you down. And now between the monster wars and the craziness of your bad habits, you are drowning.

You aren’t a writer or artist any more. You’re angry. Now you realize something. You never were a writer or an artist. You imagined it. You thought you had something. But maybe you were wrong. Maybe you were wrong all along.

How do you avoid the monster wars? Keep reading my blog. You have to just do the work. It’s about the work. Don’t listen to the noise. It’s about the work. It’s not really about you.

Published in: on July 10, 2013 at 9:31 pm  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Work, work, work. Story of my life. Grr.

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