Staying married, World War Z

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The cannon at the wedding

At the wedding, there was one dance that was for people who had been married ten years or more, and then it was for twenty or more, then thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, then one couple at our table stayed on and on; they had been married sixty-two years, and they danced and glided across the floor while everyone cheered. The guy never spoke all evening. He barely moved or ate, I thought he couldn’t move, but he could dance. Then he sat down and again, he never spoke. His wife looked rather vibrant and was chatty. Sometimes marriages age one person more than the other. But he may have just been a quiet fellow who could dance like Astaire.

In NY, we saw the movie World War Z, which is one of the most stupid zombie movies ever made. Zombies are reanimated corpses who have a big appetite for human flesh. In particularly evil zombie movies like this one, we are in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. I’m going to ruin it for you so here’s your chance to stop reading. The movie goes like this:

1. Zombies are found.
2. The zombies are very bad. This is fairly typical of zombies; they are grey and ugly and they have extremely smelly nasty creatures with big ugly teeth. They like to bit into live people. They want to chew on live flesh and turn everyone else into zombies. They, of course, are trying to take over the planet.
3. Brad Pitt is the only person on the planet—somehow—who can figure it out.
4. He has to leave his family and go searching. First in Korea, then Jerusalem. Then England.
5. He figures it all out.
6. Then he goes back and says hello to his family.

One note here: At one point the Palestinians and Jews in Israel start singing Peace together and the Jews are being super nice to the Palestinians. The singing attracts the zombies who then take over Jerusalem. The zombies represent what here? The Crusades?

However, this raises ideas for other movies that could be made so in case you are a film maker, here you go. Nine out of ten of these ideas would make a simply unforgettable film.

Zombies with Bunnies
The World According to Zombies.
Oz and the Flying Zombies.
Dancing with the Zombies
Zombies choose the right Nanny for their offspring
Chef Zombie
Chuck Norris fights the Zombies
Chitty Chitty Zombie
Disney presents A Tale of Two Zombies
The Good, the Bad and the Zombies

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Published in: on July 8, 2013 at 9:36 pm  Comments (1)  

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