Parties, dreams and travel

kk 235
The house in Ireland

We went to a great July 4th party yesterday. I know it was great because things got hazy after the second margarita. There was chicken and coleslaw and the guacamole we had brought, and all this fruit and tiramisu, I thought there was way too much food, but we kept whooshing through it. We were up to the task. And then after the margaritas, I was swimming around in the pool, the water all lit up and cool blue. California parties always remind me of the movies, people are talking about the movies; the water glows blue, the dark comes in and it’s there before you know it, the house was thick with smoke at some point. A friend of the host was a trans-gendered woman named Ellen who had come from Alan. Ellen was tall and had broad shoulders and a wonderful smile. Ellen and I compared pictures of our daughters. And I thought how glad I was to have come so far from New Hampshire where I never knew people like Ellen and parties like Karen’s were possible.

One of my friends is trying to extricate themselves from a controlling relationship. It’s odd to think how long these kinds of relationships have been around—as long as people humans have tangled with each other. What makes us want to control other people? Because we’ve all done a bit of it sometime. Parents trying to control their kids. Kids trying to control their elderly parents. Why does it become so important to control other people? We try to control when we feel afraid. Or small. I want my friend to be okay. To be free and to be loved.

I’d like to think we grow beyond this. Good flight today to NY. But I’m so tired now. Tomorrow I will swim in the hotel pool. We are here for a fancy wedding, but only for three nights so I didn’t pack a suitcase, just a small bag with a red dress and shoes and a swimsuit. So I’m ready to swim. And dance. But mostly, I’m ready to sleep.

Published in: on July 5, 2013 at 8:21 pm  Leave a Comment  

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