Mother’s Day is tomorrow.

Having a great weekend in SF. We got up here Thursday night and went out to a place called Live Sushi which was excellent fish. And then yesterday we went to Santa Cruz. Mark went to the Rosicrucian Museum and I slept. Today, Mark went to Berkeley to all these bookstores and I slept. I’m a real barrel of laughs. I am staggering from lack of sleep, and there is so much partying to do at night up here in the Nor Cal, so I need to sleep in the daytime. It’s the end of the semester that fricking kicked my ass out of the ball park, it’s amazing I can still walk straight.

We had so much fun at Doug Lawson’s house it was like being on planet fun. I did tequila shots followed by orange slices and cinnamon with him which is like entering the romance of spice and wild. And we had lots of wine, and they have this cool outdoor patio area and you can see the stars coming out and they have a heater on the patio and their kids Ben and Skyler are going off to dances and coming back and not wanting to take their bath or go to bed and clearly so ready for summer and it’s light late at night and early morning, and they have chickens and dogs and if I were those kids, I’d want to enter the otter pop of summers and have a hammock and a sprinkler to run through and never think of the word, “School,” again and just keep running all summer and getting very dirty and playing late night games like the candles we lit back at the beginning of the world when all stories started with dark and stormy nights. Their mother’s painting are so beautiful, Giselle paints green, blue and orange, mostly green and blue like entering the sea and wild green air full of bees and birds and the feathered edges of life. We own some of her paintings and will own more, before she gets too famous, she’s already getting there, so I’m getting while the getting is good, before all this art falls off the edge of the world into another income bracket that we’ll never enter and then we’ll be able to visit the sky and the chickens and the children at the end of the road, and we’ll look at the paintings at Giselle Gautreau’s studio but they’ll be out of a reach, like climbing a high ladder where the top rings are into the sky.

Being a mother is a life changing experience. I have lots of friends who do not have children, and they seem younger than me. They seem more carefree. Not having children means that you don’t have the big things to worry about. But human beings tend to find things to worry about anyway. When you have a children, that becomes the most important thing in your life. No one says, “My life is fine, it’s great. I have a good job and a great husband but my kids and I are not getting along.” But you do hear the reverse, “My kids are great and they love me so it’s all good, I do need to work on my job and my marriage, but the kids are good.” I love my kids and I want for their happiness, for our happiness. I also want to do great creative work, I want to push out into my own edges with my writing, but always, I hope my kids will love me and want to be around me and of course, I want us to all be moving forward in our lives toward love and sky, toward creation of great work, toward wild.

Published in: on May 11, 2013 at 6:47 pm  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Enjoyed this. You’re a good person.

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