What to buy for presents, what do people like?

kk 005

Me? Here’s stuff I like

Plants especially rose bushes
All kinds of lotions, soaps etc, all that stuff from The Body Shop
Candles –crazy for candles, especially floating candles, but I love all candles
Vases—you’d think I would own a lot of these since I like them, but I don’t. I use a couple of pitchers.

You’re thinking what about jewelry? Since I mentioned how much I liked that pearl necklace Rachel gave me. Well, I do like it, but I don’t need expensive jewelry at all, funky jewelry makes me just as happy and I wear it more. This is because I resent the idea that jewelry equals love when what it actually means is that you have money. Jewelry is fine; it’s nice, but it’s better to have someone treat you nicely.

Distance giving:

Family, very close friends can give:

Clothes, books, music. Those are the personal gifts that your family gives you. Or even vacations. Or fun experiences like balloon rides or shark tank experiences.

If they’re super sporty, shift yourself off to REI and start shopping.

For friends:

Wine or beer
Other kinds of alcohol unless they’re in AA
Gift certificates

Gift giving is part of what defines our relationships. Gifts can signify affection. But they can also signify ownership. If someone gives you a gift, it’s always good to know what the cost of the gift. Does it mean you have to do things for them? What sort of things? Are they thinks you wanted to do anyway? If not, maybe you shouldn’t be accepting it.

Remember the Trojan horse. A Trojan horse is a gift that comes with weight, with strings attached, with other stuff that you weren’t counting on.

The best gifts are the ones that come with no strings, no weight. Gifts like sunlight, moon light, star light, rain, clouds. But even those gifts come with some strings. If we don’t take care of this planet and its clean air, climate change will continue to occur rapidly and there will be problems with the light, the rain. Climate is not something we can take as a given.

Even love, is not a gift that comes with no strings. I was speaking to a woman lately who was telling me about her late husband. She said that when they married, she was very much in love. They were very smart, both of them. Both of them quite brilliant. Then he became sick; she said he was sick for years. Eventually, that’s what he was reduced to, just his illness. At some point, he became rather boring. She stuck with it. But now, when she remembers her husband, she has sad memories. She does not want to date again. Oddly, I know many women who are fine without remarrying. Many women live fine without men, but men get lonely and a woman spices up life.

The woman did not have the gift of love forever. Eventually, what she had left was basic affection, compassion, goodness, kindness, but not love. Because that love was not returned. She fell in love with a brilliant man whose mind fascinated her. She fell in love with a mind and when the mind was deteriorated, she did not have the gift of love.

Gifts have strings attached, sometimes ropes, sometimes chains. Ask any woman in Beverly Hills who married for money.

I didn’t ever marry for money, I don’t know how.

Published in: on April 8, 2013 at 1:22 pm  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. for more on this fascinating topic, if you haven’t already, read Lewis Hyde

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