I am not afraid of the dark

Dark morning Whidbey

Tonight we are going to the Hollywood Bowl with friends. Tomorrow night we are going too, we must like it. I like to get the food from Whole Foods where I rarely shop except to go to the Bowl. I like their deli food. A lot of grocery store deli food is nasty and is heavy on the things with mayonnaise. Things like carrot salad and macaroni salad. Things that remind me of dark church basements where bad things happen to children and jello and falling off tire swings and having to eat macaroni salad for dinner instead of chicken and the way the cold air would swing around you in the dark and you’d wish that you were anyone else living anywhere else even in India, you’d tell yourself, or in China or Japan things would be better. And you’d remember how they told you that you better eat your food because children were starving in China, or was it Japan? There were always Asian children allegedly starving when you were a kid growing up brutalized at the Farm, and because of these children you must eat your mayonnaise food, and practically everything calls for mayonnaise when those white Christians were cooking. You can just slop mayonnaise into beets and carrots, potatoes and macaroni. Mayonnaise can turn any perfectly good food into a sort of white gravy and that’s another thing you hated heating as a child was any kind of gravy. The way it’s gooey and grey and runs around the plate and sometimes has some kind of weird lumps in it and god knows what those lumps are and you have to eat it anyway, and you sort of dip your bread in it, thus ruining the bread as well and you wish there were corn. Corn is a good simple phallic food that’s hard to screw up. You boil it for ten minutes and then you eat it with salt and pepper and butter and it’s good although it gets in your teeth. Especially the kids who have braces, but you never had braces and your kids never had them either, because you have straight teeth and you bite down on life and get out of my way. I’m not little any more. You can’t hurt me and I don’t have to eat mayonnaise and I don’t have to be in church basements and I am not afraid of the dark.

Published in: on August 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm  Leave a Comment  

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