Dream for yourself not for others, don’t dream for your kids, let them dream

July 30th, 2012

Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.

Having a good time in Hawaii. Went to a rocky beach today and there Amy and I snorkeled but there was a rumor of sharks and therefore, only three of us went snorkeling.
We didn’t see any sharks, but we saw a lot of fish and a moray eel who Amy kept on kicking near that moray eel and he kept putting out his mouth and looking all dangerous.

Steve is going to have his 21st birthday party in 2 days here in Hawaii. We’re having a relaxing summer vacation here. Not stressful. No schedule. Just breathing.

We are here thinking and dreaming. The kind of dreams that are good to have.

1. Dreaming of relaxing, of breathing, of creative work.
2. Dreaming of being healthier.
3. Of having more time with your family.
4. Of having more time in the woods.
5. More time on the beach.
6. More time to sleep.
7. Less time at work.
8. More time to think.
9. Be alive.
10. Thinking.

Dreams that aren’t healthy to have are dreams for other people.

Dreams for your parents. Dreaming that your parents will go fishing, stop skiing, retire to Phoenix, not retire—who wants them sitting around all the time?, get laid, not get laid! Seriously they’re your parents, let’s not think about your parents doing that…, stop spending money on stupid things, get some exercise, take up a hobby, take their medication, stop listening to old music.

Dreams that are the least healthy of all are dreams for your children. Of course you can wish happiness for your children. We all do. You can wish that you will always be close to them. We certainly do. You can wish that they love and enjoy their lives and that are able to make a difference in the universe.

But many parents go much further.

They want their kids to win beauty pageants. To be sports stars—baseball, football, basketball, the Olympics! Yes, what about having a kid who is in the Olympics.

Or on television. Or in the movies. Any of those would be good. What if your kid were Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Julie Taymor?

Dreaming of a kid who can achieve your dreams isn’t healthy. We need to live our own dreams. And let our kids live theirs. If they want to be a rock star, that’s good, if they want to be an environmental lawyer, why not?

I think it’s good to encourage your kids to follow their own path to greatness or at least happiness, but I am big on letting your kids find their path. It is their only life.


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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. “The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived lives of the parents.” –Carl Jung. That may not be exact, but it is close enough.

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