May 31st, 2012
What you think late at night.
You think, I could change myself.
I could eat less. Exercise more.
I could look more like people on TV.
Or in movies.
Not like I do now.
I could spend less on stupid things I’ll want to throw away later.
Or give to the Salvation Army.
I bet Jeff Bezos doesn’t give his things to the Salvation Army.
Rich people don’t have to be nice or give things away.
Because they’re rich.
Why criticize though?
It just shows that you’re feeling small.
Why not just believe everyone is doing their best.
Trust me this isn’t true. A lot of people are not doing their best.
Not even half their best.
But why not focus on what you should be doing.
On your own life.
Lay off worrying about others.
Or what they think of you.
Who cares what they think?
You should focus on the important things of your life.
But what are the important things in your life?
It’s hard to tell my brain is so crowded.
My kids, poems, editing, the press, sex, love, sleep, getting more sleep, my car needs a paint job, I need a new car, sleep, writing more, going to the gym more, running more, sleep, burnout, sleep, the garden, should I ever decorate the house?, sleep, why is it noisy?, it’s late, I need sleep.
You start to feel like your whole brain is a sorting hat and you can’t sort. It’s muddled in there and mostly you need more sleep.