Men Don’t Age Well, Good luck finding a Cute Guy in His 50s
“Men don’t age well,” that’s what my girlfriend told me. She’s in the throes of dating using one of Los Angeles’ many dating services. She’s gorgeous, in great shape, makes her own money, and drives a Mercedes. The car alone puts her in a whole special class of women of means. The valet drove up her car first, then my Honda at its nearly 300,000 miles. It was like watching a racehorse walk by followed by a slow fat donkey.
She’s on the market again, and what she’s finding is this: Like all the Los Angeles women we know, she’s got it together. Women in Los Angeles in their 50s have it all going on. If they were sex robots, they’d be the action model. Most of these guys she meets in their fifties, if they were sex robots, they’d be the eunuch model. What they would be used for is governing the play models, the action models, the versatile acrobatic pretzel models, and the unique super action thong models.
Women, historically haven’t been good at saving money. Instead they focus their resources on gilding the lily, on preparing themselves as princess for the prince who might come and sweep them off their feet and take them out of the swamp and into the palace where the white horses are stabled in the yard. Once you are a princess, you don’t have anything to worry about. The princes save up their money so they can buy a palace. And the horses of course.
All that’s changed. The princesses buy their own Mercedes, their own castle, my friend even has her own horses. My girlfriends own houses; they work out at the gym, they have perfect clothes, hair, homes, and halls.
The men have become philosophical, they can have interesting conversations. They know wine, they can talk books, news, Huff Post; they can talk movies, and theatre and opera. But they stopped having an active lifestyle; they’re done with their body and they now live in their mind and their belly. Women forgive a little sloppiness around the waistline; men are less likely to hook up to a woman who doesn’t have one.
I wished my friend happy hunting as I said good bye. She drove out in her Mercedes. She wants a man who’s in shape, her age and not a Republican? Good luck. I asked how she felt about men in their twenties. Their broad mind and narrow waist have not yet changed places. She gave me a look and said boys her daughter’s age are not working for her. If they’re under thirty, they’re kids. I have to agree. If I were single, the under 30 crowd would not be blowing my skirt up.
Maybe she should think about that lovely age range from 30-40 where men are still active but haven’t made enough money to think the Occupy Movement might shake up their investment strategy. When you’re young and idealistic, it isn’t all about you but as you grow older, something happens and then things fall apart.