December 18, 2010
Nobody is home right now except me and I was planning to wrap presents but then I decided to have a little party by myself and I have rock music on really loudly and every once in a while I get up and dance and I’m drinking wine and I already had lasagna from last night because I am crazy about my own lasagna. The Go-Go’s are singing “Vacation” and I am well aware that this is the world’s shittiest music and that’s why I am so happy to be singing along with it because I have so many friends who are just far too smart and snobby and intellectual to listen to Belinda Carlisle and they just can stuff it, because I am at the look back and laugh days. I’m there. And if you’re all by yourself and it’s already a party, that’s good, because any moment Mark’s going to be home and he’s going to be to be pretty tired of shopping in the Valley. (We’re now on to the Boss.)
So, lateness. I am going to set some big goals for 2011 but one is to be on time.
I am often late. And in 2011, I plan to change that. I have been thinking about this late problem. My husband just got home and we got into a big argument about when to leave for the party we are going to. He says 5, I say, 6. The party is from 6-9 and this is a big party, we love this party. But you aren’t required to stay all the time at parties. When these same friends come to our parties sometimes they stay a while and go to dinner afterward. So, I’m saying let’s breathe here, we’ve been running around all day, but he wants to be on time. He has excellent habits and I do want to learn them.
I am going to change my lateness even about book reviewing. I am looking at a book review I have due for David Foster Wallace’s last book, and I am planning to review that book on time. Tomorrow, I will get up on time, I will put on my socks on time, in all worlds I will dream on time, wake on time, sleep on time. But you don’t have to arrive at parties on time, do you?
If you stay from beginning to end of a party is that a good sign that you loved the party or that you had nothing else to do? I’m not sure. I’m not a good faker so I do whatever I want. Our party last night did go grandly; many writers, Charles Harper Webb is always fun to see, he has the coolest son Erik. Our flowers are amazing in gold and orange and red. Friends came from Malibu and Pasadena, even from San Diego.
Here’s a great movie scene on lateness and one on craziness from Fasttimes at Ridgemont High.
Jeff Spicoli: Just couldn’t make it on time.
Mr. Hand: You couldn’t, or you wouldn’t?
Jeff Spicoli: See, there was a full crowd at the food lines.
Mr. Hand: Food will be eaten on YOUR time. Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?
Jeff Spicoli: [long pause, but then with complete truth in his answer] I don’t know.
Mr. Hand: [Mr. Hand goes to blackboard and writes the words ‘I Don’t Know’, then underlines them]
Mr. Hand: I like that. ‘I Don’t Know.’ That’s nice.
Mr. Hand: ‘Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?’ Gee, Mr. Spicoli, I don’t know! You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to leave your words right up here for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr. Spicoli.
Jeff Spicoli: All right!
[Spicoli has had a pizza delivered to class]
Mr. Hand: Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you’re doing?
Jeff Spicoli: Learning about Cuba, and having some food.
Mr. Hand: Your on dangerous ground Mr.Spicoli.
Jeff Spicoli: Mr. Hand isn’t ok to have a little food on our time.
Mr. Hand: [takes away box of pizza from Spicoli] Mr. Spicoli your absoloutly right it is our time yours mine and everyone elses. but it is my class.
[calls up a couple of students]
Mr. Hand: Mr. Spicoli has been nice enough to offer us some pizza. Be my guest. Get a good one.