February 4th, 2013
Everything I need to know I learned from Star Trek
If you are a captain and you are sexy you get to take your shirt off in a lot of episodes.
The tall guy with pointy ears is worth listening to and has the best advice.
The doctor has little of importance to say.
If girls wear very short skirts and dark leggings they get some attention and they get to bring stuff to men on trays.
If you are sufficiently sexy, the captain will kiss you even if you are green.
Men like to fight.
Creatures who look like guys in huge monkey masks are probably guys in huge monkey masks.
Large ugly creatures who look like Godzilla are probably guys in Godzilla masks
Having ridiculous big hair will not stop men from kissing you.
Tinfoil can double as clothing.
Fiery clouds chasing you could be aliens.
Pizza flying through the air could be aliens.
Creatures with moon shaped faces are probably aliens.
Green girls are probably aliens.
Klingons are dangerous aliens.
If you transport down to a planet in a red shirt you are much more likely to get killed on the planet than if you are wearing a yellow shirt.
If you are not standing with Kirk or Spock, you are more likely to get killed.
If you are tied to a wall, someone will untie you later. Have fun while tied.
If you are forced to fight, and you are the captain, you will probably win.
If you need to kiss someone to save your life, start kissing.
Fizzbin