Men and women talk past each other

June 19th, 2012

Should women listen to men? Why or why not?

Women underestimate men. And visa versa. Which is why spouses are always surprised when the other person knows when they are doing wrong.

Ways that women underestimate men. I’ve heard students say that they don’t want a man in their life. They want to raise children, make a living and have a life without having a man to mess things up. They saw what their mother went through and they aren’t going through that.

If you choose to have children, they’re going to be probably the biggest part of your life. They are your family. But having a man around doesn’t necessarily mess that up. In an ideal world, even if you already have a kid/kids, the man you meet/fall in love with will also love the kids.

You want to make a living. Well, generally, you can do that without a man. And you’ll probably make as much money as a man and have more education. There are more women in college than men. Women are just as intellectual and academic.

Do men make the whole picture better? It depends on the man. If they like to spend time with you and listen to you, that’s good. If their idea of participating in your life is buying you nice dresses and taking you to dinner once a week, you’re better off with a girlfriend.

Men underestimate women too. If women are talking about something intelligently, men will often interrupt or try to shush them. If a woman did this to a man, well, let’s just say this, 99% of women know better. But men do it all the time. Even if the man is dull and informed, his words seem to carry more weight than hers.

Women are just as responsible as men when it comes to making money, balancing the family checkbook and paying the bills and much more so when it comes to taking care of children. Yet men often don’t really hear women.

The question comes down to how do men and women see their role in each other’s lives? If women see men as the one to “take care of things,” she’s usually going to be disappointed. If you need something fixed, call a repairman. If you need custody of your kids, call a lawyer, if you need a house, save up and buy one. If you need more funds, get another job or a raise.

Things not do as a woman: Don’t change your name. Men don’t have to change theirs. Don’t give away yours. Don’t stop looking your best 24/7. Even if your best is casual. Wear it. Never go gray. Never let him forget how lucky he is. Don’t step out on him and think you won’t get caught. You will. If you have problems in that area, talk to him and see if they are solvable. If he won’t listen or interrupts you, spend more time away from him, see if he misses you. If he likes a lot of time alone, give it to him. If it’s really alone time. On the other hand, if he takes vacations or trips alone, you have a problem.

Men: I don’t know if any men take advice these days, but I’ll give it a whirl. When you’re not working, try to spend time with your spouse. Don’t cook for her if she’s trying to lose weight, let her eat salads. Being nice means spending time with your wife, not buying her stuff. If you have the kind of woman who just wants stuff, you already picked the wrong woman. Remember, she is just as smart as you, so do not talk down to her. Men have been talking down to women for centuries. It annoys us.

I am fascinated myself with how angry I still am when women are mistreated. I am usually not being mistreated. On occasion yes. And certainly, I hear that people talked smack about me behind my back. (If you weren’t a playa, there wouldn’t be haters, my son reminds me,) but not that much. But I know of all these alpha males out there who think they’re smarter than women. Smarter than their wives, than all women. And I think, You insecure little man. But that’s kickback. Women have been talked down since cave days. And we still have a long ways to go.

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Published in: on June 18, 2012 at 10:32 pm  Leave a Comment  
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