Why Some Men Prefer Sweet Quiet Women

January 29th, 2012

 

Let’s start with this.  If you are married to a sweet quiet woman who does what you say, who smiles and laughs at your jokes, God bless you.  Who wouldn’t want such a wife? The great thing about being married to someone who is quiet, obedient and if she’s smarter than you in any way is smart enough to hide that, the best thing about that is that you feel like the king of your castle all the time.  Who doesn’t want to be king?

 

Being king means that you own the casle, that you give the orders.  Who hasn’t dreamed of being the king of the castle?  If you want to be king of your castle, then you need an obedient princess and you should choose your princess wisely, ideally someone who will follow orders, be awed by your accomplishments and be willing to watch pictures/slide shows/DVDs of your travels and impressive leaps and jumps.  She should like hearing you talk and not talk too much herself.  She should be willing to give up her name/favorite foods/weird friends to be with you.

 

The Fifties was a real heyday for this kind of activity.  You could say to your wife, “Hey darling, we’re moving toTexas,” and she would start packing.  “Hey honey, I just bought us a new Chevy,” and she would run out to see the car and thank you with big wet kisses.  (Nothing against big wet kisses.)

 

You could boss your wife and no one would think less of you.  Now if you tell your wife to make you dinner, to pack the car, iron your clothes, or bathe the kids, you’re likely to get the look, and if you’re lucky, only the look.  Smart women don’t like to be given orders.  They like you to make requests.

 

We have several couple friends who are married to women as smart and outspoken as they are.  Karen, Lisa, Sasha, Tracy and Deborah all give their spouses a run for their money.  And of course our lesbian couple friends all seem pretty even as well.  It’s always fun to be around couples with smart women because they get sassy and have stuff on their brain.

 

The reason men don’t marry women as smart as they are is very simple.  They’re scared.  Scared of feeling stupid and small.  Nobody likes to feel stupid or small.  Nor should they.

 

A really smart woman who is also a good human being would never make her man feel like an idiot.  Because in fact, if she needs to make her man feel like an idiot then she obviously has low self esteem herself.  I am always amazed when spouses say negative things about each other in public.  What you have to wonder is what the hell they say to each other in private.

 

Which brings up another point.  In my opinion, you should treat your spouse way better than you treat the mailman, (unless the mailman is your lover in which case you have a way cuter mailman than I do) and sometimes you see people who treat their spouses so offhandedly that you really wonder what they’re thinking.

 

Choose wisely with your spouse.  Choose someone you can respect because you’ll be your best person if you are challenged.  Being challenged by the person you love is amazing.  It’s everything.  Have a Kate Hepburn type wife, someone who has a mind and can speak her mind.

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Published in: on January 29, 2012 at 9:35 pm  Comments (19)  
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19 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Personally I’ve never had the desire to be king in the castle. The resident artist of the castle seemed more appropriate. As far as a wife who listens without comment, one should just marry a tape recorder then you could just play it back when you wanted to agree with what’s said. A man needs a partner in order to live happily not a tape recorder. Love your posts

    Michael

    • Love the idea of the resident artist. Then of course, some people want to be the court jester, but that’s another issue.

  2. I cant speak for everyone but the best women for me is one that is a little quiet hopefully because shes just a humble person. But knows how to have fun and make me mad. I want a women who complains a little gets on my nerves every once and a while and tell me when im wrong or when she dis a agrees. Not a women who acts like a robot. Because thats what relationships are for dealing with the other person problems. And letting each other known when your right and when your wrong. And for any women out there rarely does any man want a girl that says nothing accept ok contrary tto popular belif.

  3. I agree with the writer. I am dating a woman who is more on the reserved side and this is the happiest I have ever been. As a professional, its hard to meet other women who are willing to let men take the lead or give him and opportunity to be gentlemen. Culturally, out spoken behavior varies from group to group. In my culture, its the norm for women to be outspoken and have a lot of confidence. So much so its sickening. I believe a man should respect his wife’s opinion, but no man want’s a woman that constantly forces her opinion down his ears, or tries to One-up him in every conversation. A man’s job is to protect and provide for his wife. And its her job to support him, not nag him to death. Not saying this is a requirement for most guys, but I definitely think most guys prefer a woman who says little. I believe those marriages will last longer.

    • I know! Really. Why can’t women be quiet? Listen, let’s say I’m a man who just wants a woman who is younger than me. Is grateful that she is married to me. Is willing to do what I say. Accept that I’m only one man and I can’t perform in bed like I’m in my 20s because I’m not. And how about she’s willing for me to travel on my own and come back and show her the pics. Enjoy my slideshow. Cook me dinner! Keep her mouth shut. If she has complaints, keep them to herself. If she has a problem, she needs to remind herself who’s the boss. I’m the boss. Quiet woman, I’m the light.

      • I was in agreement with Kate Gale’s post (“Why Some Men Prefer Sweet Quiet Women”) until I saw this reply. The grammatical constructions (“Is grateful that she is married to me”) seem unfairly directed towards men of a particular culture–and that’s not cool.

  4. The author of this article seems like she’s had a bad experience with men

    • Not really. I like men. I’m sitting one one’s lap as I write this.

  5. [...] them? Do you want a feisty woman in your life and bed? And you’ll see in the side bar as well, Why Some Men Prefer Sweet Quiet Women. One of my favorite lines reads, “I am always amazed when spouses say negative things about each [...]

  6. As with most things, it’s about balance. I love a women who speaks her mind, but does it in a sweet way that allows for the possibility that I may not agree, and I may not be wrong.

  7. I think a woman can be sweet/nice and genuinely care about other people and let her husband take the lead while ALSO having opinions and not being afraid to stand up for herself when someone crosses a line. It’s about balance. I think a lot of women, underneath their rough exterior are sweeter than they want people to know because it makes them feel vulnerable.

  8. Thanks. I’ve realized now that I might make my man feel stupid a bit today. I was mad and in sarcastic mood and just wanted to laced into him.

    I really like your posts. Smart and lambent.

    Cheers,
    Anna

  9. Why should a woman make her man feel small and an idiot anyway?

  10. It seems like most guys don’t want to marry the sweet, quiet, obedient women. If that were the case I would probably be married by now. Most of my friends that are married are all quite outspoken women. I wouldn’t say I am completely obedient, but I don’t usually complain about much. I hardly bring up issues. I think when I am in a relationship I become boring because I am so worried about trying to make it work and forget about all the things I enjoy or want to do. So I think those other women have it right I just wish I could be a little more outspoken in a relationship, unfortunately that may never change for me :(

  11. Yes men prefer a traditionally feminine (passive) woman but its a compromise on both sides: men don’t like being strong and chivalrous. We’re inclined towards laziness. No one likes assuming the roles the other sex imposes on us (read Sartre’s “No Exit”), its just the nature of relationships.

  12. Everything portrayed in this article actually has no relation to any kind of gender whatsoever. A lot of females with low self-esteem would rather have a man who’s like a puppet & can be manipulated, than a man who knows things, reads, has opinions & can convey them.

    So the issue here is not a certain kind of men, or women. Those kind of people exist in all genders. The other kind also exist in all genders. And it can’t even be generalized by saying something like that men are more inclined to do that than females. And you know it’s true. But when you wrote this article, you generalized it to portray people like you i.e. females with brains & an outspoken attitude. Which is a small cross-section. Nothing’s wrong with a little bit of generalization though. Just needs to be mentioned somewhere. As there are a myriad of other characters available on the planet, who are not like you, even in an abstract sense.

    Also, if a man/woman IS afraid of women/men in general & wants a woman/man which can be dominated, why is it so bad ? Maybe she/he will increase his confidence gradually & he/she will be free of those negative feelings eventually.

    Also, from my personal experience, I have experienced following trips in my life:

    1. Putting the girl above you on a pedestal & worshipping her
    2. Putting yourself on an ego-trip & asking the girl to worship you
    3. Behaving as equals
    4. Being with a smart & feisty girl
    5. Being with a smart, sweet & quiet girl
    6. Being with a beautiful & rather stupid (by general conventions) girl

    And by my above experiences, I can say (for myself, without generalizing), that no situation was better or worse than the other one. It’s all good AND bad. Depends only on how you look at it.

  13. I’m a GHaNaian black young boy age 21years and i wish to Marry a Brazilian white girl. I Love Brazilian woman….

  14. Aquiet,listening Woman To Husband’s Orders Loving To Be Corrected.Is Whom Men Prefer Most

  15. Yeah he makes love to me more when am quiet


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