June 2, 2011
Okay, here’s the problem with feisty women. They stand up to you. They like to make their own money, they like to spend their own money. Or save their own money. They speak up when they have something to say. They have a drink when they want to, go to bed when they want to, they think their own thoughts.
All this independence is sexy if you are a strong man. If you’re not, then you will feel small around the feisty woman. Whether you will feel small, depends on you.
Chances that you will feel small around a feisty woman are good if one of the following is true to you:
- You were born before 1960 when feisty women were mostly Eleanor Roosevelt and Joan of Arc.
- You generally like to be the boss of things.
- You think women aren’t as smart as men.
- You chose someone not as smart as you so you could always be superior.
- You think you’re better than everyone.
- You think that you’re better than most people.
- You think you’re smarter than most people.
- You raise your voice to women until they learn how to be quiet and listen to you.
- You like to have the last word.
- You don’t like yourself.
- You feel small. You’re afraid of women.
- You want women to look up to you.
- When you hear a woman speak in a way contrary to how you see the world, all you can think is, “she’s wrong.”
- Strong women make you tired. You wish they would shut up.
- You believe in having the last word.
The great thing about being a feisty woman is that you feel your own heart strong and throbbing and you don’t need to ask permission to speak, to dream, to act.
That doesn’t mean that you aren’t insecure, that you don’t wish you could do more, that you don’t ask yourself every day why you’re stuck. It just means that you feel wildly alive and unstoppable in spite of being not at all perfect.
But, you don’t worry about being lonely. You know that’s not going to happen because you’re feisty.
Which brings us to extroverts—feisty women are often extroverts. Extroverts aren’t actually relaxing most of the time. They’re working at being extroverts. They’re working at being entertaining, cool, with it. The most extroverted person I know is Brendan Constantine, I always wonder what he’s like alone because he is super entertaining to be around, but exuding that much energy can hardly be without effort.
Maybe that’s why I detest tours and group vacations. When you are around other people, you can never be completely yourself, completely relaxed. You have to be on guard in case you do something wrong and you have to be entertaining at the same time. It’s no picnic being an extrovert, and it’s not a constant party being a feisty woman.
But, here’s the thing. It is more fun to be a feisty woman, there is a hum beneath the surfaces, the question is you, can you bear it? Are you woman enough? And can you be with a feisty woman? Are you man enough?
Or do you like your women to do as you say, not question you too much and above all, to recognize that you are the man? Think about it.