December 15, 2010
According to the Huffington Post, what most single successful divorced women don’t want is another guy showing up to date. Wendy Dennis writes that single women often see men as just another thing to take care of, someone who’s going to try to change them. They don’t need the money, the excitement or the travel, they can get that for themselves, so why date a man? Why not just be pleasantly single like the Sex in the City girls? With nobody to complain about your wardrobe, your odd habits, your movies, your way of keeping the heat up too high, your insane family, go for it, just be single, you can travel to Poland on vacation there’s nobody to stop you.
And we complain that older men are hooking up with younger women. At least the younger women need their wallets. I am afraid reading this article, that the primal urge is that men might want to be needed for something, if not bringing home the bacon at least for sex and friendship. And if you don’t need a man for anything, but just see him as about as useful as well, the gardener, that’s kind of sad.
I know some scary bossy alpha males who would not be fun to live with because you couldn’t be you around them. But, what about the great guys in the world who adore having equal partners in every sense of the word who one could travel with, listen to music with, argue politics with, have great intellectual conversations with, watch good movies and stupid movies with, read good books with (avoid stupid books when possible, like too much weed smoking, they will rot your brain,) guys who actually are curious about life and your opinion, guys who when you have a conversation, don’t do 80% of the talking. I admit these guys are rare, but I know two of them. My husband and my friend Lisa’s husband and I probably know more (possibly my friend Nancy’s husband? Need to hang out more, but I think so.) If I know two, possibly three, then there are more. Okay, odds aren’t terribly good considering that I’ve met thousands of men, but come one, they exist. You can argue that God exists, but we are talking about men who have been in my house.
Men aren’t all pets or alpha males or scumbags. I don’t like these categories, and I don’t like the flip categories that we’re all bitches or skanks or chilly madonnas. What about happiness for Christmas? What about liking yourself and being with someone who makes you laugh? What about that?